Christensen 86

The End Is Near
1. Auflage 2016
ISBN: 978-1-4835-6519-4
Verlag: BookBaby
Format: EPUB
Kopierschutz: Adobe DRM (»Systemvoraussetzungen)

E-Book, Englisch, 600 Seiten

Pheromontropion. Never heard of it? That's a good thing for you. Chris Lass wishes he was still naive to it all. You see, lack of pheromontropion is a bad thing, a very bad thing. When you no longer have it, you no longer have any fun, the brand of fun that is commonly referred to as a Happy Ending! That's right, infinity has an end and for Chris Lass, the end is near. What can it be like to be the first male in all of history to run out of orgasms? After 86 more, Chris Lass will know!

Autoren/Hrsg.

Christensen, Scott

Leseproben

PRACTICE COURT DAY TWO “When she gives you that short angle and you pick it up soon enough you have to commit to it. That means a closed stance. That will let you now control the rest of the point”, coach Lass was now the Maestro of match preparation, while Natalie was a little more relaxed, “Yes Sensei”. It was a long time point of contention. At 32 years old Natalie thought of herself as the new normal of the tour, in possession of the modern game. At 36 years old and retired from his playing days he was decidedly “old school”. Natalie had this vision of him in long white slacks and sweater holding his three wooden racquets up to his chest as he walked on the court. The element that always kept them short of out and out arguments was that in her heart, Natalie knew he was right. Still though, Natalie was a woman and had to position herself sometimes as though she knew more and was just humoring him. When they took a quick water break by the side of the court Natalie’s agent, the ever gorgeous Kelly Samuels, stopped by to chat with Natalie. As they talked to each other, Fiona passed by, at a distance that did not allow her and Chris to greet each other verbally. Fiona nodded and smiled. He did the same. At this point in his life Chris had very few little pleasures. He was busy trying to figure out what he would make of his life. This is what a retired athlete goes through, especially a retired athlete that didn’t quite fulfill his athletic goals. He was in a current quandary, on so many levels. There was the Viking Tennis Center. He was coaching Natalie who probably didn’t plan to play much longer. He was still young and really had no idea as to what he was going to do with his life. And on top of all that, it was hard to forget, he was about to forever lose the greatest pleasure ever known to all of mankind! So forgive him but after a night like the one he had just last night with Fiona, if seeing her the next day raises an amount of tremendous memories that just may bring a smile to his face. Immediately after eyeing Fiona, and apparently smiling like a Cheshire cat that just swallowed a mouse, his eyes scanned innocently toward Natalie. We are talking here about a short series of glances, momentary blips in the grand scheme of the universe. The nanosecond of interaction between three people was obvious proof of the existence, and power, of telepathy. As Chris’ eyes moved toward where Natalie was standing he saw the instant look in her eye. It was a look of condemnation. It was a look of Catholic nun after the Lord’s name was taken in vain. As if she hadn’t got her point across Natalie’s eyes moved toward Fiona, then back to Chris, almost as a visual exclamation point. Natalie was well aware of both their reputations. Those were reputations of insatiable sex drives and a hookup made in sex heaven. Natalie was aware of his ongoing fuckbuddy relationship with Fiona. So what was the problem now? He didn’t want, or need, to know. He grabbed the hopper of balls next to his racquet bag and walked out on the court. “Let’s go. There is work to be done”. Natalie grabbed her racquet and touched hands with Kelly and they parted as Natalie came back on court. With no hesitation Chris started feeding short angle shots to Natalie’s backhand, which she swooped in and alternated blasting downthe-line and crosscourt, all from a closed stance. Meanwhile…. Another frenetic lunch crowd at the Princeton Panera’s but off in a corner, quietly talking with each other in near anonymity, sat Wendy and Debbie. They each grazed at their salads. “So what’s going on”? Debbie was always direct with her best friend. “What are you talking about”? There wasn’t an annoyance in Wendy’s voice, more of recognition that Debbie wasn’t asking a vague question. “Come on, you know you can’t fool me. There’s something going on with you. I can tell. Something good, which is all the more reason you should tell me about it”. Wendy got quiet. Yes, there was something going on, and his name was Chris Lass, but she wasn’t sure yet. Wendy knew that there were stirrings, emotions that were new to her, and seemed out of place for so soon, but at the same time so natural. It was all confusing to Wendy, and because of all that she wasn’t ready to talk about it quite yet, even to Debbie. Somehow, Debbie could sense this. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to dig”. Wendy said nothing but gave Debbie the look. Blue eyes could sometimes turn from soft to intense. They both burst into laughter, bringing Debbie’s confession, “Okay, I did mean to dig. It’s just that it felt like something good and I got excited for you”. Wendy eased into a smile. “It may well be something good, maybe more than good, but right now I’m not sure. For that reason, and maybe I’m being a little superstitious, I’m not ready to discuss it. Okay”? “Of course”! Debbie fiddled with her salad, looking down. “Wendy, I don’t want to bring you down or anything, but I saw Bryce yesterday, with a woman”. Wendy smiled again, warmed by her friend’s concern. It was time to release a secret, “You know, I never told you the whole Bryce story”. Debbie remained silent as Wendy took a moment to summon some strength. “The next morning, after a night of feeling awful, I went to Bryce’s house to apologize. My problem with Bryce was that he had no passion. With us there was never any spontaneity, and now he actually does something passionate and I reject him? I still wasn’t changing my answer. There was something very odd about the whole thing. I found myself questioning why he would do it so publicly, but I still felt bad. I wasn’t the only one hurt, or so I thought”. Debbie listened intently. She had always suspected there was more to that time, more to the story. “So I get to Bryce’s apartment, knock on the door and when he answers the door swings open and there is Bryce, standing there with a towel wrapped around him and behind him appears a woman, wearing his bathrobe, the very bathrobe that I bought him! Just hours before he had been rejected from a marriage proposal and he thereafter bedded another woman, immediately! What? Was she waiting at home for him just in case”? Debbie had never suspected anything like this. “Honey, I’m so sorry. I never knew”! Wendy broke in, needing to explain, “It’s okay. I just wanted you to understand why I’m not all broken up about hearing that Bryce has moved on”. There was a long pause between the two friends. “So you are okay? I mean, you have moved on”? Wendy struggled, and Debbie let her come to her own terms. “Yes, I guess, maybe, I don’t know”. Wendy laughed at her own answer. “I guess we’ll see. Obviously it has affected me. How could it not? But I think I’m over Bryce directly, but maybe still struggling with the concept of it all”. And then Wendy bared it all down to the ultimate. “I’m just not sure if I can ever trust again”.   FUCKBUDDY DAY TWO Magnolia’s is one of the best restaurants in Charleston and when the tennis tour is in town it comes here for dinner. The bar was busy with agents and the tables were crowded with players and their entourage- hitting partners, coaches, physios and the occasional husband or boyfriend. Tonight for some reason seemed extra busy. Fiona didn’t want to eat here tonight. After last night Chris was thinking that she probably didn’t want to bother with food, as though it were a complete waste of time. The restaurant was in downtown Charleston, near the water and a bit of travel from the tournament hotel. Once the tournament got going Chris wasn’t sure when he could get out here again. So there they were. During the day, when Fiona is working, she dresses more like one of the players in athletic wear. Fiona could pass for one of the players. She works out and has the muscle tone to prove it. Fiona has the fit legs of the players, just enough muscle but still very feminine. Her arms are the same, toned and yet exquisitely feminine. All of these features were showcased in her little black dress. With her tight body and black hair Fiona turned heads and put smiles on all the males in the restaurant as she walked through to the back where Chris was sitting. He always enjoyed sitting back and people watching. Fiona slid into her seat opposite Chris, with no apparent problem of having her back to all the fun, and she was all smiles and giggly. One could almost see her as a man who was about to get laid. With her arrival the waiter immediately came over and they ordered drinks. Fiona with a cheery expression asked, “So what’s going on in your life these days? We hardly had a chance to talk yesterday”. He thought that was humorous! Of course they didn’t get a chance to talk, as he remembers one, if not both of them, had their mouths busy with other things. The women he dates might say something like that with a cute little half smile on their face, and made such a statement with clearly alternative meanings. Not Fiona. She was not a date. She wasn’t a girlfriend. She was his fuckbuddy from across the pond and Fiona always spoke with a...